I always knew that I wanted to travel Scotland and I also knew that I will love it. But I’ve never expected what really happened with me in Scotland.
It started on the eve of the second day. I was sitting on the waterfront of Loch Linnhe and the slowly setting sun painted the whole surrounding in a soft, kind of magical light. And all of a sudden I felt a lump swelling in my throat. I tried to swallow it and told myself that I’ve been to many beautiful places before, but somehow I couldn’t hold it and started crying. I was sitting there, alone in a restaurant I had to walk two miles through the wood to, and was crying like a baby, because the beauty of nature simply overwhelmed me. But this was only the beginning.
On the way back to my B&B sun was setting and I clambered down a stony path to sit there on my own and cry some more. Just because it made me incredibly happy. I wasn’t sad at all. It was just so unbelievable beautiful, my heart couldn’t bear with it anymore. And it felt good. Kind of right.
The next morning I took my car and drove on, with just a rough plan of where to go, the only thing I actually wanted to do was driving and being on my own. When there were other cars in front of me I stopped and waited for a while. When there were other cars behind me I stopped and waited for a while. It was always the same. Just because I wanted to have this feeling to be the only human being in whole Scotland. And yes, I was playing with the thought of how it would be if, poff, the rest of the humankind would disappear.
I would have celebrated it.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of lovely people I do care a lot about and would miss badly if they would disappear. But sometimes, sometimes you need to be alone. To get some peace, to give vent to your thoughts and to be at peace with the world and oneself. And sometimes this is only possible when there are no other people around. When you have time to talk to yourself, listen to yourself and leave go of all the hectic and stress of every day life. Simply to be at one with yourself. And with nature.
And I didn’t have that feeling for a long time. But Scotland found this tiny little button and once it pushed it I couldn’t stop crying of happiness for days. And sometimes you need this. So your inner voice gets some rest. In every day life my inner voice is actually pretty loud and always wants to talk with me about something.
But when you’re standing there, on the side of a hill, wind is brushing your hair and your eyes are wandering. When you could scream as loud as you want or whisper. When nature shows you its beautiful face. Then, sometimes, your inner voice has no words anymore and she silences and enjoys.